A girlfriend has laid bare how her boyfriend insisted on paying for a meal for her family – but was left furious after it cost £500 and he would not stop complaining about it.
Despite the woman paying back the money to cover the dinner, her incensed partner will not let her forget about it, causing divisions in the relationship. The main gripe the girlfriend had was that because her partner wished to pay she didn’t want to upset him.
The unnamed woman took to the popular AITA Reddit forum to get a verdict from commentators and shared that while her relationship had been “great so far”, the fact it felt like her boyfriend was “looking down on me and thinking I’m poorer than him” upset her.
The poster explained how she invited her American boyfriend to her home nation of Romania to meet her family for the first time for the winter holidays. While there she thought it was the right time to meet her parents, and so arranged for them all to go for a meal out at their favourite restaurant.
She wrote: “Now, my parents were supposed to pay from the beginning, since in my family the one that invites pays; but once we got there my boyfriend had to make it clear that he’ll treat all of us to this meal.”
The commentator revealed that she was “sceptical” of allowing her partner to do this due to “how my family dines” but “didn’t want to hurt his male ego in front of her family so I just trusted him and let him do whatever”.
She continued: “We started ordering, and here’s the catch: my family doesn’t order just one meal / person, the way they dine (and me as well) is by ordering a bunch of different dishes and eating a bit out of each one, which as you can probably imagine racks up the bill very high, very fast.
“Long story short, the bill ended up being 3000 lei (around £500), excluding tips. My boyfriend is kinda red faced but he pays the bill and keeps smilling and talking, so I just didn’t think anything about it.”
She detailed how when the couple got home he “started fighting with me” and claimed she had “set him up”.
Among his gripes were that he was “expecting Romanian prices to be cheap” but as a result of his anger his “entire vacation finances are ruined”.
She concluded: “I told him that he set himself up by underestimating my family and I, and trying to present himself as the ‘wealthy foreigner who splurges on things the locals can’t’ in order to make a good impression.
“Either way, I gave him back the money for the dine out ’cause I felt bad, but to this day he still holds a grudge.”
Despite her plea, many sided with the angry boyfriend – claiming the woman should have known this was what her family would do. One poster said: “It was kind of him to offer to pay but you really should have warned him about your family’s expensive way of dining.
“I’m assuming you did the same as your family. As he is the outsider trying to be courteous, you and your family should also have been courteous by not taking advantage like that.”
Another added: “From his perspective, it’s like people usually have a glass of wine with dinner, but when they know he’s paying, everyone orders a bottle each. It’s not reasonable (from his expectations). Like if you know someone else is paying, it’s rude to order the most expensive thing on the menu – similar situation.”
Meanwhile others believed the woman was right to allow him to pay – because he offered to. Among her supporters included one who said: “He was tactless to begin with – your parents invited, why would he butt in? He was probably trying to make a good impression. BUT when he HAD done that, and you didn’t intervene, your parents should have just ordered a normal meal.”
